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So from time to time I get email requests from all over the world asking me a ton of questions.
Usually different people tend to ask the same, so in an attempt to avoid possible dissapointment from you, dear questioner, some generic answers from me.

1. I’m a student visiting London, can I visit your studio?
No. Because I don’t have a studio. I work from home. Only friends, family and cats are allowed here.

2. I’m a student, can I intern at your company?
No. I’m not a company, helloMuller is my portfolio. I work at Kleber (which is a full time job).
Whatever work you see on this site (except Kleber work of course) is done by me alone or with Liz.

Who’s Liz?
My lovely wife.

2B. Will you consider hiring me instead?
Nope. See above.

3. So can I intern at Kleber?
That’s a tricky one. Kleber is a small company, and since 2005 we converted to what they call a “virtual company”, which means you won’t find an office to intern at. So again, no.

4. Can I work for Kleber then?
If and when we need someone, it will be announced on our site and probably on a bunch of design portals, if you keep your eyes open you won’t miss it. Besides that, no, we’re not hiring.

5. I’m a student at XXXX working on my XXXX project, can you help me?
This is one of the more popular requests. Sorry, but I will not / can not help you with your project.
I don’t have the time for that, and I’m no robot that you can task for student work.

6. You’re the subject of my project at school, can I ask you some questions?
Sure, fire them over. Keep in mind that I won’t answer “How would you solve my assignment?” questions.

7. You arrogant bastard, why don’t you reply to me?!
Because a) I get a lot of emails, and sometimes something slips through the net. b) I’m busy and I forget. c) I didn’t like your email (when you ask for something a short introduction and a please would be appreciated) d) because I like to reply properly instead of the generic “No I’m sorry, best of luck!” and therefore have no time to write a proper reply. See b.

8. Hey, I just graduated, give me a job!
See answers 1, 2, 4 and 7C.

9. Hey, I just graduated, do you know where I can get a job?
To be honest, I know as much as you probably. Yes, I know a lot of people who know people but that doesn’t equal to me knowing whats happening at their companies at any given time. If I know someone is hiring I’ll be the first to post it around. Besides that, don’t ask me because I don’t know.

10. I like your work! Let’s collaborate!
Thank you very much! But no thank you. I’m usually busy with work and my own stuff, I like to have a little life away from my desk, and I’m really, really picky when it comes to people I’ll collaborate with (yea I’m anal that way). Sorry.

So there you go.

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